Been awhile

Well its been awhile since I have been on here and even read someones blog muchless wrote on this one. My mother had to have surgery and things went alot better than expected. No cancer but still she can't talk. They are saying that acid reflux is what is doing this to her and its just hard for me to believe. She is starting to sound better just a higher whisper though. Then of course the next day was Thanksgiving and I cooked. A ham, turkey, dressing, butterbeans, broc casserole, collards (for my mother), cream style corn that we actually shucked and took off the cob(and of course had in the freezer),cornbread, german choc cake, and 3 pies, with a few other sides...way to much for me to be cooking on my first thanksgiving cooking..but oh well..it was fun and actually turned out great..everyone seemed to enjoy the food and company..so it was great..this year was great because last year my husband was home he was in Iraq. It was wonderful having everyone there...Emily was into everything that day though. typical 19mth old..It was the first holiday since emily was born that the entire family was together..last year my husband and my little cousin were both in Iraq..and this year...they are all home..next year..different story....can't look at next year just need to look at right here right now...enjoy the time and make wonderful memories.....
Well I am sick..bronchitis..so I am off to bed....

blah blah blah

Today wasn't so bad, just had to many emotions flowing through my mind for one day. I got up this am and got Emily ready to go to Nana's my mothers and I had to go to the dentist. I think maybe because I had an hour drive I had plenty of time to analyze everything and anything. I thought of some stupid stuff, stuff i didn't need to think about and then my mother and what I am going to be told next week. Yet again I can't stop thinking of it or worrying what is going to happen. My monster in law called me just to bitch about my sister in law Like I am getting in that one. They are both the wicked witches of the North. Best for me to keep my mouth out of it because they are both just wrong. Oh lets not forget the downpour we had today that I was out driving in. My husband was pretty good tonight he actually helped me with dishes and straighten up the house...strange..usually can't get him to do much...My daughter didn't want to leave my mothers house this evening...I hate carrying her out screaming nana nana but my mother can't keep her over night I was worried about a few hours. My daughter loves her so much..when emily was born my husband was in Iraq and my father had just passed so I moved in with my mom to help us both get through a rough time. My daughter and her bonded so much during that time...oh well i have rambled enough about my blah day....

One hell of a couple days

When you think it can't get any worse it does. First, off me, my daughter, and my husband are all sick. My mother is having to have surgery next Wednesday. The doctors are doing some sort of biopsy on her to find out if she has cancer. She is having whatever its called when they go down your throat and check for acid reflux and when they went down her nose they saw something so they are biopsing that. So, she sat me down yesterday and gave me the if I die speak what I better do and not do. Which got me to thinking of my father. He gave me the if I die speak about 2 months before he died last year. So, that has me thinking and my mind working a million miles an hour. Then you have my daughter crying because she doesn't feel good and my husband saying "baby can you get me something to drink." Gosh like I feel so great myself. My nerves are all balled up in a ball and my throat hurts, got a fever, earache..hell everything hurts. I just want everything to be okay. I can handle a cold but loosing my father is still hard on me 20mths later. I miss him. I miss the talks, the jokes, the way he used to try to tell me what to do in a round about way, the hugs, the love yous, i miss walking in the house and seeing him laid out snoring on the counch with all the dogs piled on top of him. I am not so sure I can emotionally handle what might be told to me next week. But if, which i pray it is, good news, its the day before Thanksgiving....Right now isn't a good time for me to be sick I have to much on my plate to deal with. How do you do it, do you just not worry until you know, do you start before and be thankful later....Well its late and my meds are kicking in I am off to bed....

DEDICATION FOR OUR GREAT NATION

I would like to thank all the soldiers past and present for defending our great nation and allowing us to have our freedom. There are some that take forgranted our freedom and I was one until my husband was called upon. He has since served 3 times in Iraq. He was there when the war first started and he just came home this past January. To everyone who has ever placed their boots on soil and fought for our nation God Bless and Thank you. To the soldiers and the families please know that sacrifice will not be forgotten. God Bless...

Frustrated or Sick

The last couple of days I have been sick. Not sure exactly what is wrong..maybe I am just tired and stresssed. I feel like I am pulled a million directions a hundred times a day. Between my mother being sick, my sister breaking her leg, my daughter having the crud, and well my husband just being himself, I am exhausted. I wake up clean my house, pack up emily, go to my moms clean up there, come back home shower, fix lunch, do my erronds, go by my mothers make dinner sometimes there for us all, sometimes there and then come home and fix dinner yet again. But my mother is sick, sick, sick, and I ain't leaving her to fin for herself..noway in hell, she never did that to me..never would. I have been doing this for about 3wks and I want a bed and a good nap. Last night I was exhausted had a sore throat, a fever, and was in need for a bed..my husband says, you gonna get a shower, and of course while I was getting mine and emily's stuff up for bathtime and pjs for bed, he jumps in there gets out and jumps in bed...leaving me to bathe emily, myself, and of course she wasn't ready for bed until 11 and he was in bed by 9..how sweet. What an ass is all I could think. I rarely ask for help and the one time I do he rushes to bed..So today I ask about it, his reply is I just couldn't hold my head up anymore, I woke up at 3 with her..bullcrap. What Chrissy did you want me to pass out on the couch with her still awake..you did alright didn't ya..GGGHHOOOSSHHH I just wanted to scream..oh yeah lets not forget one of my dogs got sick yesterday and I had to take him to the vet (Yoda) and I had to take Buddy and Baby to my mothers til he gets better cause he could be contagious..how great..

Now and then.....

Me just rambling...like I always do..

I have had this blog since March and have never blogged. I was reading a friends tonight and decided I should start trying to get things down for my daughter and trying to clear my head at the same time. My world flipped upside down last year when my husband deployed. He left in January in Febuary my father got sick, the 1st of March he passed, the 1st of April my beautiful baby girl Emily-Grace Charle was born, in September found out I had a form of cancer, and along the way life just keep going. Emily is the only name my husband and I could agree on for her, we wanted a E name and we just knew her middle name would be Grace because by the Grace of God I would have her, because I had already lost 2 before her. Charle was after my father, Charles, I wanted something different for her but from his name. Its not Charlie but just like its sounds. Charles without the S. Well after I had Emily I decided I needed to better myself not only for myself but for her and my husband. My husband was in Iraq so I decided to go back to college and I actaully am finishing up the end of this year, but I am thinking of keeping going to get a higher education. I think it would be alot easier to do while Emily is little. She is 19mths old and my world. I want to make myself so much better to give her more. Right now all she wants is mommy to get on the floor and play with her and our pups. Lets not forget our 3 dogs. Yoda, Buddy, and now baby all of them are chihuahua's. Baby is Emilys, he is only 7 weeks old. She puts that puppy in a babydoll stroller and pushes him half the day. She dresses him up and oh lets not forget the diaper she put on him the other day. Well for someone who hasn't ever blogged I think I have wrote enough about me today....